


Crows, A Murder Of

by eech



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Humor, This starts bad and gets worse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eech/pseuds/eech
Summary: tanakawhen you proposed this idea i thought it would be more entertainingsugatanaka it’s been approximately one minute please give it time21:32tsukishimai would sell hinata for profit
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	Crows, A Murder Of

**Author's Note:**

> the chances of anyone other than myself finding this funny is slim but attention is what i desire so im posting it anyways. so little plot you couldn't grow crops on it, vaguely follows the timeline of haikyuu but it doesn't really matter so don't think about it too hard. enjoy  
> also warning for humorous usage of the f-slur, like, twice lol

**_crows, a murder of [_ ** **_14 members_ ** **_]_ **

**daichi**

Welcome to the official Karasuno group chat! 

**hinata**

O_O

**kageyama**

waht?

*whta

*what

**hinata  
**

lol :P

**kageyama**

ok 

**tanaka**

when you proposed this idea i thought it would be more entertaining

**suga**

tanaka it’s been approximately one minute please give it time

_ 21:32  _

**tsukishima**

i would sell hinata for profit

**yamaguchi**

what about for non-profit?

**tsukishima**

that’s just bad business sense

**yamaguchi**

you’re absolutely right

**nishinoya**

what’d he do

**tsukishima**

the first and most heinous crime was respiration (with added charges of continued existence, sentience, the ability to speak, the ability to move)

**hinata**

i understood about half of those words

**tsukishima**

it’s because you’ve got a brain the size of a pea

**hinata**

why are you taking your angst out on me!!! isn’t kageyama you’re punching bag!!!! go yell at him!!!

**kageyama**

wtf

your supposed to be ride or die

**tsukishima**

you know. i can see why you both suck in japanese 

**tanaka**

i take it back suga didn’t give me a misleading advertisement. this is entertaining

**sug**

who do you think i am? an idiot?

**tanaka**

well

**suga**

you barely passed your exams please don’t speak to me

**tanaka**

INTELLIGENCE IS DIFFERENT FROM WISDOM

**suga**

i know it’s so tragic that you have neither

**tsukishima**

i’m hesitant to use a word as strong as ‘like’ for anyone on this team but i do believe i tolerate you, sugawara

**yamaguchi**

wtf I’M on the team

**tsukishima**

shut up 

**yamaguchi**

hehe sorry tsukki

**hinata**

do you guys ever feel like yamaguchi apologizing to tsukki always feels a little more ominous than it should

i fear for you’re health tsukki

**yamaguchi**

heh

**tsukishima**

you know the word ominous?

**hinata**

it’s natsu’s favorite word :P

**azumane**

i often & regularly feel threatened by hinata and yamaguchi

but yamaguchi mostly

something’s off about the both of them

**tsukishima**

i have the nearest mental ward on speed dial for the inevitable day that hinata snaps 

he’s unhinged

**nishinoya**

you feel threatened because you’re a pussy

**azumane**

harsh

share the number with me please

im afraid to be in a room alone with him

**hinata**

aw :-( i would never hurt anybody!

**yachi**

ah

no that is a lie

**hinata**

whaaaaaaaaat

**yachi**

you punched kageyama in the face at lunch today

**hinata**

oh yeah i did haha

why did i do that again

**kageyama**

i cant remember either but it was your fault

**hinata**

i’ll punch you again

**kageyama**

. idiot

**azumane**

case in point

**daichi**

i feel like we all knew what we were signing up for here

like i was aware that i was letting crazy people join the team 

**azumane**

speak for yourself

**nishinoya**

“Meeting those two first years was kind of unsettling. I was kind of scared to join the team because of them, but also they were kind of right” -Azumane Asahi 

**azumane**

okay there is absolutely no need for that 

\--------

**suga**

the clubroom is NOT a backroom in a strip club. please keep your dicks INSIDE of your pants. yes i am talking about you noya if you want to hook up with someone don’t do it in the clubroom. i encourage sluttiness but NOT where i have to see it

**nishinoya**

i’m not gonna lie this whole public degradation thing you just pulled is kinfsd sdofaing it fnor enem emme

**hinata**

wut lol

**nishinoya**

asahi 

betrayal

pain, suffering

it is all i feel

**kageyama**

asahi and noya hooked up in the clubroom?

**suga**

NO

**nishinoya**

nah it was a guy from my class lol 

**kageyama**

gross

**hinata**

you brought outsiders into the clubroom????????

**daichi**

seriously??? that’s your hangup with this

**hinata**

um yeah

the clubroom should only be available to club members we can’t just let anyone come in 

**kageyama**

you do know what hooking up means right

**hinata**

im not that stupid

**tsukishima**

what does it mean then?

**hinata**

like kissing and stuff

**tsukishima**

it means sex

**hinata**

WELL YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO OUT AND SAY IT!!!! I WAS TRYING TO BE CONSIDERATE OF THE CHILDREN IN THE CHAT

**nishinoya**

aren’t you the youngest???

**hinata**

NOPE HAHAHAHAHA I’M THE OLDEST FIRST YEAR!!!!

**kageyama**

he found out today that he’s older than me and he won’t stop holding it over my head

it’s not even that much of a difference

being sixteen doesn’t make you cooler

**hinata**

yeah it does

**kageyama**

no

**hinata**

fight me about it

**kageyama**

ok

\---------------

**hinata**

hey do any of you guys know how to deal with rumors being spread about you???

**yamaguchi**

no i’m sorry hinata :-(

**kageyama**

i’ll punch them???

**hinata**

idiot

no

**suga**

um . mostly you just have to ride it out and the rumor will die down eventually

**hinata**

really? there’s nothing i can do to stop it? ugh

**suga**

are people spreading rumors about you? 

**yamaguchi**

yeah

the whole first year basically

**yachi**

[ screenshot.01029 ]

[ screenshot.01030 ]

[ screenshot.01031 ]

a classmate sent me this on line the other day

this about sums it up

**suga**

aw man that really sucks hinata

we’re all here for you

**nishinoya**

I’LL PUNCH THEM ALL

**hinata**

i think that the entire first year outnumbers you noya

but i appreciate the thought lolol

**tanaka**

those rumors are pretty nasty

when i got rumors spread about me during first year they weren’t that bad

report it to the vice-principal maybe???

**hinata**

but what if the vice-principal believes the rumors too?????? and then i get EXPELLED???

**tsukishima**

everyone who believes the rumors is an idiot. 

and should be punished.

**hinata**

never thought you’d care ;-; tsukki~~~~

**yamaguchi**

some guy was talking about it during lunch and tsukki almost folded his ass LOL

you should’ve seen it

the guy was shitting bricks when tsukki went up and slammed his hands down on the dude’s desk

**tanaka**

cap

**yamaguchi**

no i’m serious

i wish i got a video

**tsukishima**

and i’d do it again

**daichi**

the pictures aren’t loading for me yachi

what kind of rumors are they spreading?

**tanaka**

summarized version is they’re saying that hinata will have sex with any guy who pays him enough

**daichi**

…….

…………..

im boutta turn the first year classes into a boxing ring 

those motherfuckers are gonna get their shit rocked

**hinata**

NO!!!!!

it’s fine guys it’s not even that bad

it’s just annoyinggg

**azumane**

you’re not bothered???? if it were me i’d already be moving to a new country

i don’t speak english very well but i think i’d make do 

**hinata**

i mean

**azumane**

it’s been a minute and i feel sort of concerned???

**daichi**

shhhh asahi

let him speak his piece

**hinata**

10k yen is 10k yen

**daichi**

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**tanaka**

oh hell yeah get it hinata. take advantage of ur problems

**tsukishima**

i regret standing up for you 

**hinata**

omgggg it was a joke guys lol 

i mean it bothers me but it’s fine i guess it’ll all blow over or whatever

the most annoying thing is that now guys keep offering 

**tsukishima**

…...who

**yamaguchi**

NO???? THEY ARE??? NOO TELL ME WHO THEY ARE I’LL BEAT THEM UP

**kageyama**

cracking my knuckles rn 

**hinata**

they were both kinda ugly so i said no :P 

(that’s also a joke before u get angry again)

**daichi**

….is it a joke as in you’re joking that that’s the reason or you’re joking about saying no?

**hinata**

the first one wtf u guys are hopeless

**tsukishima**

pot meet kettle

**NOYA**

FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO CHANGE MY USERNAME

also

please hinata stop making me think of u as a teenaged boy with the capability to be a sexual being

**ennoshita**

baby’s first big words :’-)

**NOYA**

you are pond scum

**hinata**

wdym noya lol

**NOYA**

YOU’RE BABY!!!! A BLUSHING VIRGIN!!!!!! A CUTIE PIE!!! A RAY OF SUNSHINE!!!! STOP!!!!

**hinata**

um

i wouldn’t say that

**daichi**

YOU’RE NOT A VIRGIN?????

**hinata**

NOT THE PART I WAS TALKIGN ABOUT!!!!!!

**kageyama**

hinata is the devil. he is the scourge. the plague. pestilence. war. famine. he is the manifestation of bad luck and terrible things. he is twenty thousand vultures descending upon the decaying carcass of my life

**hinata**

aw <3

**tanaka**

bro straight bars

**kageyama**

i wish i never met him, for he has set in motion a series of events at the end of which is my penultimate doom and demise

**tanaka**

too far bro

**hinata**

aw kags <3 i will beat the living daylights out of you

\-----------

**daichi**

it’s been a couple of days, has the rumor situation gotten any better?

**hinata**

oh yea lol

people have been leaving me alone pretty much

**yachi**

it’s because he never goes anywhere without kageyama and tsukishima and yamaguchi looming omoniously behind him

**tsukishima**

how is it that hinata knows how to spell ominous but you don’t?

**yachi**

I”M TIRED OK?

\--------------

**daichi**

has anyone seen hinata and kageyama

“we’re all taking the bus this time” i thought “there’s no way they’ll get lost again” i thought

**suga**

naive fool

**narita**

um the last i saw them was halfway between the conbini and fukurodani 

but then we kind of split into groups so i just assumed that they were somewhere behind me?

**asahi**

number one rule of babysitting hinata and kageyama is to never assume anything

if you can’t see them they might as well be halfway across the pacific 

**hinata**

wtf we don’t need to be babysitted

**kageyama**

babysat?

**hinata**

hm good question

**daichi**

where are you guys

**hinata**

even better question 

so you see,

**asahi**

are you ever going to answer the question? or 

**hinata**

well see 

we don’t

really know WHERE exactly we …. are 

so

haha funny stuff right

**daichi**

turn on your location

**kageyama**

i don’t know how to do that

**hinata**

^

**daichi**

sigh

_ [cut for length] _

**daichi**

got it?

**kageyama**

¥ep

**daichi**

how are you guys that far away

**hinata**

no comment

**asahi**

you were racing weren’t you

**kageyama**

……….no comment

\--------------

**daichi**

practice is cancelled tomorrow sorry guys

the weather makes it unsafe

**milk man**

what the hell am i supposed to do now

**bun boy**

wtf im literally sitting right here you’re so rude

**daichi**

there are no words for how much i dislike your usernames

**suga**

you just used words

**daichi**

watch your back sugawara

**suga**

oh noooo im so scareddddd OAo

what’re you gonna do, bite me?

**asahi**

WHY are you being so antagonistic

**daichi**

he’s a boredom-induced shit-stirrer

**NOYA**

he really is 

**suga**

it’s so depressing here 

im so bored

so are we gonna talk about how kageyama and hinata are in love with each other or?

**daichi**

does anyone know how to server mute somebody 

**ennoshita**

if you give me mod privileges i can do it 

**daichi**

i owe you my life

**tsukishima**

no no no

i want to hear what sugawara has to say 

i think we SHOULD talk about how kageyama and hinata are in love with each other

**ennoshita**

both of them have been server muted

\------------------

**sugawara ---- > tsukishima**

**sugawara**

this is oppression 

they’re censoring our art

stifling our creativity 

let’s throw a coup

**tsukishima**

…

**sugawara**

oh if only we had a revolutionary in our midst who is just as evil and conniving as us two but that has the advantage of being seen as a ray of purity amongst corruption

**tsukishima**

fine i’ll ask yamaguchi

\-----------------

**suga**

thank you <3

anyways

**daichi**

if you say one more word about kageyama and hinata

**suga**

OPPRESSION!!! CENSORSHIP!!!!! SUPPRESSING THE VOICES OF THE PEOPLE!!!!! YOU RUN AN AUTHORITARIAN REGIME AND YOU HAVE THE GALL TO PRESENT YOURSELF AS A BEACON OF HOPE AND TRUTH?????

**daichi**

i am so tired

**ennoshita**

this team is a running nightmare

sorry i have to go and make a shrine for my sanity

**daichi**

rest in peace

**ennoshita**

campaigning for captain’s suffrage

**bun boy**

aw but i don’t want daichi to suffer!!!

**daichi**

you are far too late

**tsukishima**

i’m pretty sure that the captain’s suffering is mostly caused by you and the king heh

also that’s not what suffrage means idiot

**daichi**

you do not get to pretend that you aren’t a contributing factor

i found a grey hair the other day. GREY

**asahi**

didn’t that just end up being suga’s? 

**daichi**

IT DOESN’T MATTER

it’s a sign of the early grave this team is about to put me in 

when you’re at my funeral i want each and every one of you to realize that it was your fault and then internalize that

**suga**

wow

preemptive trauma

**milk man**

so what does suffrage mean then?

**yamaguchi**

it’s like a rights movement

like for rights

**bun boy**

rights???? like. rights and lefts????

**tsukishima**

are you legitimately this stupid

**milk man**

he’s not stupid he’s got higher scores in three of his classes than me

also yeah what’s a rights movement 

**tsukishima**

that means nothing coming from you 

**milk man**

WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**ennoshita**

my finger…. it’s twitching…..

towards the server mute button…..

**yachi**

a rights movement is when people are fighting for something

**bun boy**

like a tournament? or a boxing ring? or a war

**yachi**

no????

it’s like

protesting and stuff 

like when they want laws to change and they demonstrate on the streets

**bun boy**

OH 

people do that?

**yachi**

not very often

at least not very often here i think

maybe they do 

**milk man**

huh

weird

**tsukishima**

and here we can watch a wild kageyama realize, for the first time, that people care about things other than volleyball

**milk man**

hey i already knew that

**tsukishima**

[doubt]

\-----------

**_tall kings and hinata unite [_ ** **_7 members]_ **

**short king**

idk i don’t really think i’m that good? i mean the entire reason why i even snuck into the training camp was because i wanted to get better, i know i’m kind of only good at spiking and even then i’m only REALLy good with kags there, i need to get better at serves and receives…  _ [ _ _ more _ _ ] _

**goshiki**

yeah i totally get that, it’s honestly kind of hard being around ushijima who’s so good. like even if i want to be ask good as him i don’t know if i can ever really get there

**short king**

yeah

**goshiki**

sigh

**tsukishima**

please get therapy i don’t like hearing about your problems 

**short king**

aw i know you love me <3

**tsukishima**

ew

**IRONMAN**

guys we should have a reunion!!!

**stop calling me onion**

the training camp ended literally three days ago kogane

also why is kageyama’s simp in this chat he wasn’t even invited

**IRONMAN**

aw onion you’re no funnnnnn

**short king**

i resent being called kags’ simp

if anything he simps for ME

**tsukishima**

he does not 

im still not convinced you two don’t hate each other

**short king**

he’s my best friend! also im pretty sure that the other day you explicitly stated that kags and i are in love with each other

**tsukishima**

yuck

that’s disgusting and i did no such thing

**short king**

i’ll sic yamaguchi on you 

**tsukishima**

good luck with that 

\----------------

**@oikawa-tooru --- > @shoyohina**

**oikawa-tooru**

im about to blow ur fucking mind shrimp

[ screenshot.48593]

**shoyohina**

ummm thanks? anyways bye

**oikawa-tooru**

brutal

\-----------------

**@shoyohina --- > @iwaizumi**

**shoyohina**

hello iwaizumi! i think that oikawa might be in some sort of trouble with the law. he just sent me a screenshot of one of his middle-school chats with kageyama out of the blue?

[ screenshot.01002 ]

**iwaizumi**

thanks

i don’t think he’s in trouble with the law but thanks anyways

\--------------

**iwa-chan~~ --- > Unnamed Contact**

**iwa-chan~~**

have you been drinking

**Unnamed Contact**

non 

le smonkeé

**iwa-chan~~**

1 not even close

  1. where the hell do you even get this shit



**Unnamed Contact**

my french is impeccable

also must you ask that? must you really

**iwa-chan~~**

sigh

im coming over 

save some for me

i’ve got three different headaches

\------------

**_AAAAAAA spectrum [_ ** **_5 members_ ** **_]_ **

**BOKUTO**

HEY HEY HEY

**goshiki**

simp nation rise up

**hinAAAAA**

that’s just you 

**kageyamAAA**

nice kill

**goshiki**

brutal

why are you so much nicer in person

oh we should add kogane

**noyAAA**

ive never met the man 

give him my best

**[koganegawa has entered the chat. say hi!]**

**koganegawa**

WHAT IS THIS

**hinAAAAA**

it’s the AAAA spectrum 

**koganegawa**

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

**goshiki**

IT’S FOR PEOPLE WITH AUTISM OR ADHD!!!!!

**koganegawa**

OH THAT’S COOL !!!!!!! I DIDN’T KNOW THAT!!!

**kageyamAAA**

i need mitski to make new music so i can turn over a new leaf

**noyAAA**

not so sure that’s how it’d turn out king

same shit different leaf

**goshiki**

wtf just brutalize him i guess

**BOKUTO**

I ONLY EVER LISTEN TO MITSKI WHEN SHOYO PLAYS IT FOR ME BUT I LIKE HER MUSIC

A LOT OF IT IS VERY SAD THOUGH

**hinAAAAA**

i like singing to her music :D

good vocal stim!!!

**goshiki**

yeaaahhH!Hhh!

\----------

**_bounch that spussy like a tramp-o-line [_ ** **_22 members_ ** **_]_ **

**fat ass fridays**

why did nobody tell me that hinata can throw it BACK

back fully bent ass fully out Cake Fully Baked

**sugarrrr**

oikawa what the FUCK

no what the FUCK

no what the fuck

????

**fat ass fridays**

[ volleybussy-shoyo.mp4 ]

**sugarrrr**

NOOOOOOOOO

WHO TAUGHT HIM HOW TO DO THAT????

(but good on him honestly. impeccable form.)

**thunder thighs**

CHECK THE REFLECTION

IS THAT KAGEYAMA FILMING???????

WAIT YAMAGUCHI IS THROWING IT BACK IN THE REFLECTION TOO--

**sugarrrr**

oohhhhhhh yamaguchi’s getting his ass BEAT by daddy on monday

**thunder thighs**

please don’t make it sexual

**not thicc just compressed**

uncomfortable w the energy we’ve created in the studio today

**sugarrrr**

who are you?????

**not thicc just compressed**

hinata???? lol 

**sugarrrr**

WHAT

WHEN DID YOU GET HERE   
  


**fat ass fridays**

FUCK I DON’T HAVE MOD PRIVILEGES

USHIWAKA YOU TEN-FOOT WHORE KICK THE INFANT 

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SAFE SPACE FOR HORNY PEOPLE

**mooooo**

ah.

somebody must have let him in. 

**[** **_@hinatashoyo_ ** **has been kicked from** **_bounch that spussy like a tramp-o-line_ ** **]**

**fat ass fridays**

thank god

anyways penis

**sugarrrr**

i’m going to enter a fugue state and come out of it with your blood on my hands

**akassi**

why would you need a fugue state for that 

\------------

**_crows, a murder of [_ ** **_14 members_ ** **_]_ **

**bun boy**

no it’s not

**milk man**

yes???? it is

**NOYA**

hinata’s right

**milk man**

i’ll 

kill you

**bun boy**

not if i get to you first 

_ [cut for length] _

**NOYA**

shit babe that’s so hot

**bun boy**

CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE 

**milk man**

BRO U JUST POSTED CRINGE

**NOYA**

FUCKKKKK WRONG CHAT 

THIS IS WHY I DON’T MULTITASK

UHGHHGHGH I HATE YOU BOTH

**leggy lady**

ew.

**clearance yams**

tsukki why…. is your username that?

**leggy lady**

i lost a bet with tanaka.

**WOMANIZER**

[ TSUKKI-IN-A-SKIRT.png]

hehehhehe

**bun boy**

wow if i was a guy i’d fall in love w u like that

**milk man**

if?????

**bun boy**

huh?

**milk man**

you said if. meaning you’re not a woman.

**leggy lady**

it’s implying he’s not a man. idiot

**bun boy**

oh shit lol did i say that???? crazy stuff huh. i am a genius at japanese 

**yahtzee**

you failed your last japanese test and you’re crying about it, aren’t you

**bun boy**

……..

i failed my last japanese test and i’m crying about it yeah 

to be fair to ME

my mom said that if we passed she would get me and kageyama tickets to the black jackals vs adlers game!!!! so it was kind of high stakes

**clearance yams**

if kageyama had passed but you didn’t would she have just…. taken kageyama instead of you???

**bun boy**

im not clear on the specifics but it doesn’t matter because we both failed and now we’re gonna have to sit alone and miserable in my house and cry about it together

**milk man**

i didn’t agree to cry about it with you

**bun boy**

well you fucking will so suck it up buttercup

**yahtzee**

i cannot believe you both consistently fail to understand the language you were raised speaking

**milk man**

LISTEN IT’S NOT MY FAULT THAT I’M NO GOOD AT MEMORIZING KANJI!!!!! THEY’VE GOT SO MANY LINES AND THEY DON’T MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!!

**suga**

rip kageyama tobio and hinata shoyo, they aren’t dead just really, so very stupid

\-------------

**NOYA**

here is a transcript of an overheard conversation between yamaguchi and tsukishima

“oh, you think you’re so tough, huh? you think you’re so big, with your “shut up, yamaguchi?” you’re lucky i let that shit slide” 

**clearance yams**

oh how I love mod privileges! i wish i could server mute irl <3

**leggy lady**

nishinoya you have five minutes to live. i suggest you use them to say goodbye to your loved ones

**bun boy**

yamaguchi why were you being so mean to tsukki?? that’s not like you. are you guys fighting???

**suga**

hate to be the one to break this to you, hinata, but yamaguchi was saying that during sex

**bun boy**

DURING SE--

\----------

**salty scallawag**

can’t believe i log back on only to see the brutal murder of hinata shoyo

also who changed my name to this

i need to put a password on my phone

**suga**

you really do

**daichi**

also salty scallawag made no sense at all

**suga**

sure it did

**daichi**

…..no elaboration?

**suga**

nah

**bun boy**

still broken over the cursed knowledge that yams is a top

**suga**

there, there

\-------------

**_AAAAAAA spectrum [_ ** **_6 members_ ** **_]_ **

**kageyamAAA**

IT’S HARD KNOCK FUCKIN LIFE

**hinAAAAA**

wuts up?

**kageyamAAA**

there’s no. milk in the goddamn vending machine and my mom didn’t get to go to the grocery store over the weekend so i couldn’t bring my backup box n now im suffering

**hinAAAAA**

r u still by the vending machine? i’ve got a backup box in my bag 

**kageyamAAA**

thank u so much and i take back every bad thing i’ve ever said about you ever

**hinAAAAA**

no you do not but i’m happy to help anyways <3

\------------

**_crows, a murder of [_ ** **_14 members_ ** **_]_ **

**NOYA**

i think i just saw hinata sprint full-speed past me? where u leggin it to my guy? break isn’t even half over

oh nvm

\----------

**_AAAAAAA spectrum [_ ** **_6 members_ ** **_]_ **

**noyAAA**

yes king bring him that milk! you rocked that shit!

**goshiki**

god hinata i wish i had someone like u 

one time i ran out of my safe food and shirabu told me to stick it up my ass

heart been broke so many times… </3

**BOKUTO**

that’s not cool wtf :-(

**goshiki**

no it was kind of funny 

i mean. SUCKEd but it was also kind of funny

also after the fifth minute of me missing serves because i was almost-crying he gave me money and let me go to the store lol

\-------------

**_crows, a murder of [_ ** **_14 members_ ** **_]_ **

**ennoshit**

so where was hinata running to?

**bun boy**

i was bringing kageyama a backup milk box since the vending machine was out and so was he

**ennoshit**

damn wtf why can’t i get loved like that? i wish someone would sprint across campus just to bring ME some milk

**naruto**

you’re. lactose intolerant

**ennoshit**

it’s the sentiment of the action idiot 

\--------------

**onion man take me by the hand --- > kageyama’s simp**

**onion man take me by the hand**

hey hinata….?

**kageyama’s simp**

KINDAICHI! what’s happenin’

**onion man take me by the hand**

wish kageyama luck at nationals for me, okay? and maybe tell him i’m sorry? 

**kageyama’s simp**

tell him yourself! im giving the phone to him 

**onion man take me by the hand**

WHAT

NO

**kageyama’s simp**

?

kindaichi?

**onion man take me by the hand**

kageyama?

**kageyama’s simp**

that’s me 

**onion man take me by the hand**

good luck at nationals

and im sorry for the way im treated you in junior high

*i 

**kageyama’s simp**

oh

its okay

i’ve got good friends now

**onion man take me by the hand**

chibi-chan really brings out the best in you, huh?

**kageyama’s simp**

_ [message deleted] _

_ [message deleted] _

_ [message deleted] _

**onion man take me by the hand**

_ [message deleted] _

_ [message deleted] _

**kageyama’s simp**

i don’t know if i can

**onion man take me by the hand**

_ [message deleted] _

trust me 

**kageyama’s simp**

i don’t know if i can do that either

**onion man take me by the hand**

that’s fair

and just think about it, okay?

also maybe we can meet up after nationals? i’d like to maybe fix things with you

**kageyama’s simp**

i can’t promise anything, but i’d like that too

**onion man take me by the hand**

good luck again

**kageyama’s simp**

thanks 

\-----------------

**BANG energy --- > short orange motherfucker**

**BANG energy**

AYE HINATA   
  


**short orange motherfucker**

GOSHIKIIIIIIIIIi

**BANG energy**

good luck at nationals! DON’T TELL ANY OF MY SENPAI I SAID THAT! BUT GOOD LUCK AT NATIONALS

ALSO I’LL BE WATCHING YOU SO DON’T FUCK UP

**short orange motherfucker**

>:-) we’re gonna WIN the WHOLE DAMN THING

**BANG energy**

I ENVY YOUR CONFIDENCE

most importantly have a lot of fun!!!

OH FUCK USHIFSDIJF

Hello, I assume you are Hinata Shoyo

**short orange motherfucker**

what’s it to you body-snatcher?

**BANG energy**

this is Ushijima Wakatoshi. i saw that Goshiki was texting you, and i just wanted to say good luck at nationals, though I do not believe that you will get very far

**short orange motherfucker**

kind of mean of you to say but thanks?

**BANG energy**

disrespect was not my intention. you are welcome. 

AHDFHSLDFK I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK USHIWAKA JUST PLUCKED THAT SHIT OUT OF MY HANDS LIKE IT WAS NOTHIGN!!! I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!

**short orange motherfucker**

thanks for the well wishes from both of u!!! i have to go now i have practice

\---------

**_crows, a murder of [_ ** **_14 members]_ **

**bun boy**

i have something to say!! i was too scared to say it irl but uh

im gay 

**tsukki**

ew

keep that shit to urself

**bun boy**

DON’T BE A HOMOPHOBE???

**discount yams**

tsukki you’re LITERALLY gay

**tsukki**

and what about it?

\----------

**bun boy**

first of all, fuck you,

**milk man**

you have shit to say, motherfucker? say it to my FACE

**bun boy**

bitch i’ll Kill you 

**milk man**

i’ll say hi to ur dad in the afterlife xoxo

**bun boy**

this isn’t ABOUT HIM--

**skeleton in the buddha statue**

YOUR DAD IS DEAD??

**religious figure**

tanaka i feel like that’s maybe insensitive?

**skeleton in the buddha statue**

asahi.,,, refer to what kageyama said upstairs

**daichi**

this chat showed me a side of hinata that i don’t think i ever wanted to see

who corrupted him

**milk man**

he’s always been this way 

**bun boy**

sorry i dropped my phone in the sink 

anyways yeah my dad is dead

but as i SAID: this isn’t about him

**religious figure**

oh hinata i’m sorry :-(

**bun boy**

eeehhhhhhhhh

it’s no biggie

anyways kageyama if you don’t give me back my fucking shirt by tomorrow you’re fucking dead i’m wringing you out like a TOWEL

**daichi**

i feel like im obligated to say… language???

**sugar daddy**

he’s going through a phase let him be

you know how it is when you first start to curse

one day you can hardly stomach the word damn and the next you’re using fuck as a spacebar

**discount yams**

i feel like there’s an innuendo to be found in there but i’m too lazy to search for it

**bun boy**

kags im coming to your house

**milk man**

no wtf i’ve got my dick out 

**bun boy**

it takes two seconds to put on clothes

**milk man**

but the house is so HOT   
miwa keeps turning the heat up too high -_-

**daichi**

the amount that i wanted to hear any of this was 0

\------------

**milk man**

he’s outside of my house

help please

**discount yams**

sorry i just don’t resonate w that

**milk man**

what?

**discount yams**

no, but i fw u for trying <3

you’re on your own chump

**milk man**

good god he’s scaling the building 

**bun boy**

im not don’t be a liar

standing in the elevator doesn’t count as “scaling the building”

**milk man**

,,,,, that isn’t what that means??

**bun boy**

im in ur home and ur sister likes me better than u 

**milk man**

Miwa Will Die Ten Million Deaths, Each More Gruesome Than The Last

\------------

**bun boy**

im so traumatized

**two dollar whore**

?

**bun boy**

his dick wasn’t in yet

**two dollar whore**

say less

\-------

**fag-a-roni**

yamaguchi you have 10 minutes to live 

**discount yams**

maybe you should find a less predictable password luv xoxo

**tsukki**

i’m glaring at you from across the room 

**discount yams**

i am purposefully ignoring u

u’ll fail this unit if u don’t pay attention <3

**tsukki**

fuck you 

**discount yams**

you wish 

**bun boy**

noooo fag-a-roni was funny put it back

**tsukki**

eat shit and die

**bun boy**

no <3 i’m too sexy

**milk man**

to die?

**bun boy**

yes

**tsukki**

want to test that theory?

**bun boy**

go on then

**tsukki**

you will live and die by my terms

**yahtzee**

why do you guys go so hard all the time wtf

**bun boy**

im hard all the time

**skeleton in the buddha statue**

hehe nice

**bun boy**

thanks senpai

**tsukki**

u need medical attention

**bun boy**

he’ll yeah

because i’m so fucking SICK

**daichi**

if you guys text in class one more time i’m deleting this chat and im never looking back 

**milk man**

you wouldn’t

**religious figure**

he would (R.I.P to the KFYHOA (karasuno first years homeowners association)) 

**sugar daddy**

the grave still sits atop a grassy knoll…..

**daichi**

WE WEREN’T FIRST YEARS ANYMORE

iT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE

**sugar daddy**

YOU COULD’VE JUST CHANGED THE CHAT NAME

**daichi**

WELL YES BUT EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS MORE OBVIOUS IN RETROSPECT

**sugar daddy**

u just didn’t want asahi and i to have blackmail, huh

**daichi**

There Is A Chance That Factored Into The Decision, Yes,

\------------

**bun boy**

[ yachi-on-a-bike.png ]

dykes on bikes

**discount yams**

d

d

d

**tsukki**

DIO

\----------

**_SIMP NATION HINATA [_ ** **_52 members_ ** **_]_ **

**юрика**

Я хочу увидеть оранжевого мальчика! Присылайте больше фотографий!

**yakult**

ayo lev what he say

**lever**

i think this might legitimately be the nine thousandth time that i have told you all that i DON’T SPEAK RUSSIAN

**kuroo**

i thought the dude was like your brother or something

**lever**

I DON’T EVEN KNOW HIM?????

**юрика**

пожалуйста? Я хочу увидеть его(((((((((((((

**bokuboku**

so none of you know how to use google translate?

here yurika!!!!

[ hinata-pic-1.png ]

[ hinata-spiking.png ]

[ hinata-eating.png ]

[ hinata-and-bokuto.png ]

**юрика**

СПАСИБО!))))))))

**lever**

yurika doesn’t sound very russian …. hmmm… -_-

**юрика**

это игра английского слова eureka и моего имени (юри)! ))))

**bokuboku**

THAT’S SO COOL

**kuroo**

will we ever solve the mystery of how russian man even got in here? also how he knows who hinata is???

**юрика**

я видел видео

\-----------

**hinata’s BOYFRIEND >:-|**

[ hinata-karaoke.mov ]

**kenma**

i never knew how much i was missing until i heard shoyo rap she’s so nice in the worst accent i’ve ever heard come from anybody’s mouth

**hinata’s BOYFRIEND >:-|**

mine is worse

**kenma**

hoolllllyyy shittttt dude please pay attention in english

**hinata’s BOYFRIEND >:-|**

NEVER

\---------------

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
